Worry is a Wasted Emotion

Worry is a Wasted Emotion

Like many kiwi’s I too was up cheering on with pride at 5am Sunday morning as our boys won the Rugby World Cup… again!  I loved what All Blacks Coach, Steve Hansen, said:  “worry is a wasted emotion”.  Hansen understands a key element of success is directing your focus on the results you want and planning to achieve those results. What happens in the brain when we worry From a neuroscience perspective, when we worry and imagine a bad outcome – like losing to Australia! Or something almost as scary, such as knowing we have to do a presentation at work – we often start strengthening the neural pathways of what we don’t want to have happen by worrying about it and what may go wrong.  And guess what?  The strongest neural pathways will win out, a little bit like when you’re walking, it’s much easier to take the well trodden path than beat a new one through the bush.  Our brain is the same – it likes taking the well trodden neural-pathways. So when that little ticker tape of inner chatter or self-talk starts up with thoughts about that presentation “oh no, what if I stuff it up, what if I get tongue tied, or stage fright…. “  through this worry you are misusing your imagination, and essentially programming your brain for what you don’t want to have happen! And if you hold onto that mindset what result do you think you’ll get?  After all, you’ve been priming your brain to expect that negative result.  Turning this around and imagining and focusing what you do want will generate...
Don’t Let your Past Steal from your Future

Don’t Let your Past Steal from your Future

Life happens, both the ups and the downs.  But we have a choice.  We  can carry the negative stuff with us, like dragging heavy baggage,  making it difficult to move forward or preventing us from achieving our goals,  OR,  we can identify the limiting or sabotaging beliefs  and change them. Hypnotherapy is a powerful ally to change beliefs Forget about the entertainment hypnotists you’ve seen on dramatised TV or stage shows – I’m going to share with you what a powerful ally hypnosis can be when used in a therapeutic setting, where there is no need to cluck like a chicken or dance like Elvis! I use hypnotherapy to help you overcome challenges in life – including limiting beliefs, phobias or infertility challenges – that are holding you back from achieving your true potential or from living the life you truly wish to live. I use hypnotic techniques to help you identify and provide insight to the events that shaped your beliefs and which have formed unconscious blocks or self-sabotage, so that you can overcome past events, giving you more freedom, more success and, for my fertility clients, fulfilling your dream of becoming parents. How beliefs are formed The perception you have about the things that have happened to you, as well as the opinions of others, have shaped your beliefs. Most beliefs are formed when you were young, before your brain’s critical capacity to evaluate information was fully developed.   Up until around 10-12 years old you take almost everything quite literally and as fact, especially if it came from someone in a position of perceived power – such as...
Neural Pathways to Happy

Neural Pathways to Happy

Would you like to know a simple 5 minute practice that could help you feel happier, enjoy better health and make more progress towards your goals?  There is a growing body of research that demonstrates the simple practice of gratitude has wide reaching positive effects on our well being.  In this post I’d like to share with you some of those benefits and the neuroscience behind practising gratitude. First, lets understand what gratitude is   Gratitude is not a Pollyanna style of being blindly optimistic about every situation.  Research shows that whilst gratitude enhances positive emotions, grateful people don’t deny or ignore the negative aspects of life.  Gratitude is about noticing and appreciating the positive in life, and it seems to be that the more you practice gratitude the more things you’ll have to be grateful for. So what are the positive benefits to our well-being by practising gratitude? Results of numerous research studies shows that people who keep a gratitude journal are more likely to: Have fewer health complaints Exercise more regularly (on average 1.5 hours more a week) Feel more optimistic Have higher levels of alertness, enthusiasm, determination, attentiveness and energy Display more pro-social behaviour – such as empathy, generosity and offering help or provide emotional support to others Feel happier and have overall more satisfaction with their lives Be more connected with others Make more progress towards their goals Get better quality sleep and awaken feeling more refreshed (this sleep study consisted of adults with neuromuscular disease – so people with clinical impaired sleep) Do you think that’s a pretty impressive list?  Well there’s more, gratitude has...
Reese Witherspoon sees Hypnotist for sex scene jitters

Reese Witherspoon sees Hypnotist for sex scene jitters

There are often elements of our life or work where we feel less confident, inadequate, or would like to increase our skill level in.  For actress Reese Witherspoon it was filming the sex scenes in her upcoming block buster “Wild”. Because the Hollywood actress wanted to nail (excuse the pun) all aspects of the role, as part of her preparation she had hypnotherapy to calm her nerves and boost her confidence with the sex scenes, which were outside her comfort zone.  Reese told  Vogue Magazine that she wanted her portrayal of Cheryl  Strayed “to be truthful, I wanted it to be raw, I wanted it to be real”.   Hypnotherapy boosts performance In Reese’s case it was feeling calm and confident filming the sex scene – I imagine most people would feel a bundle of nerves getting naked on the big screen!   But what other aspects does Hypnotherapy help with?  Pretty much any skill or personal attribute you wish to improve so that you can shine at work, at home or on the sports field. The possibilities are endless, and include: Feeling confident and at ease at social gatherings Being more open and connected with friends and family Buildingmotivation and commitment to exercise goals Gettinginto the zone quicker Increasingconcentration and focus Feeling more calm and relaxed during meetings or presentations Improvinga particular part of your game So how does Hypnotherapy help? Part of the work I do with clients involves identifying and changing limiting beliefs that could be hindering the client’s goal.  It could be they feel inadequate in social gatherings which prevents them from contributing to conversations, or...
Working with a Hypnotherapist

Working with a Hypnotherapist

Working through a phobia has helped me experience more freedom and stress relief by Vanessa Davey, CEO Venus Network, as featured in the Venus Magazine, Winter 2014 Before working with Rebecca ~ the problem An incident when I was eleven years old left me with a phobia of staying home alone overnight. My 15 year old sister and I were home alone one evening when I heard a noise outside our lounge window. Not thinking what I’d actually see if I looked, I went and checked out what the noise was. As I opened the curtains I saw a prowler running away from the deck, and the chair that he had been sitting in watching us had been pulled up to the window and was rocking from his swift departure. In that moment I made a very unconscious decision to not stay home alone, again, ever. At 39 years old it had finally become rather inconvenient to feel this way. No matter how many coaching conversations I had, I couldn’t seem to get to the heart of the matter. My husband was spending more nights away tramping as he’d recently picked up this new sport. I now needed to overcome this so I could enjoy my time home alone and not dread it. Working with Rebecca ~ the experience It was around this time that I was having a RAVE with Rebecca and she talked about phobias and how we just live with some of them thinking the fear is normal. In that moment I clicked that the petrified 9/10 crazy-scared feeling that comes over me staying home alone, isn’t actually normal...
Transform your words, transform your reality

Transform your words, transform your reality

How is it that a bunch of letters arranged into a word can carry so much power? Because the words we choose to use, or more accurately what we associate to these words, can evoke emotions and physical sensations that carry great meaning when we hear them. You see, the words that you hear or use to represent an experience ultimately become your experience. And these words we use to label our experiences also actually have the ability to increase or decrease the intensity of the emotions we feel. For example, imagine when something happens that angers you – if you said quite colourfully that it “really f$#ked you off and made you furious” – these become associations which most likely serve to intensify the anger you feel. On the flipside, you could decrease the emotion by saying that it “bothered you a smidgen”, or “tinkled you” – and these such frivolous labels can even change your emotional state completely because they’re rather amusing! Simple word substitutions like these alter our perception of things. For example, imagine the positive shift in your confidence if you classified the “nervous anxiety” you feel before a big presentation as “excited anticipation”. We’ve tagged associations to words at a subconscious level, and because of this people can link tremendous levels of pain, anxiety and even fear to particular words. I know with ophidiophobia (fear of snakes) clients, just hearing the word “snake” can make their skin crawl or even trigger anxiety symptoms. Another example is a client I worked with who had experienced two traumatic childbirths. In our first session, just mentioning the...